


반투명했어 (Translucent)

by Junhonk



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Ghost!Kihyun, M/M, Psychiatrist!Changkyun, Slow Burn, Super natural activity, bus accident, changki, changki rise, ghost au, kikyun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-26 08:44:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9877409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Junhonk/pseuds/Junhonk
Summary: There is an abandoned bus next to a hospital that is rumored to be haunted. One day Changkyun and his friends Hyungwon and Hoseok are dared to go into the bus and sit for an hour, or else face Minhyuk's punishment. They all walk on, two believing in ghosts and Changkyun remaining doubtful. Little does he know that what he meets on the bus might just keep him coming back.





	1. 난 오늘 널 봤어 [I saw you today]

Hot and humid air hit Changkyun's dry skin the moment he stepped out of the hospital. His friends had mentioned that the weather had gotten warmer since he had been inside, but he didn't quite realize that with the rise in temperature came a rise in the air:water ratio as well.

 

As he stepped forward onto the sidewalk, he saw Minhyuk with his arm wrapped around Hyunwoo's shoulders as well as the rest of their posse tailing behind him. They approached each other, and Minhyuk detached himself from his boyfriend to shoot hearts at Changkyun who chose to feign dying from them today, instead of sending them back. 

 

After pretending to nearly falling over, Changkyun got back on his feet and ran a hand through his blondish gray hair, trying to smooth it out if only a little bit. They all stood in a small circle, nothing seeming out of the ordinary to Changkyun except for Jooheon's sly smile. Minhyuk had apparently noticed the same thing and asked, "Heony, why're you smiling like that? Changkyun hasn't given you consent to anything, has he?" Changkyun laughed at Minhyuk's passing comment, but then brought a finger up to his mouth out of uneasiness. 

 

"Ah, it's nothing much. I was just wondering if everyone here knows the story about that bus over there in the old parking lot?" Jooheon said while looking at everyone's confused faces. After waiting for a bit and surveying the group for the usual know-it-all glares Jooheon began again,

 

"Well, two years ago, that bus was driving on a busy highway at around 5:30pm. It was carrying many passengers that were on their way home after a long week. But suddenly another bus came up behind them, except it was totally out of control. The second bus kept swerving, and the driver couldn't do anything to get out of the way since the streets were crowded with other cars and pedestrians. The second bus ended up hitting the back of the other bus, supposedly killing at least four businessmen and women. There may have been more casualties, but definitely not any less. Rumor has it, one of the business people still haunts that bus. It's one of the people that made it to the hospital next to us before he died, which is why the bus is so close."

Jooheon's story had all of the other guys leaning in, intrigued. All of them except for one, that is. Changkyun stayed where he was behind them, because he was sure the story was purely a newly created urban myth. It is impossible for something to haunt a bus because ghosts don't exist. It's really that simple. Changkyun had heard all of the ghost stories his friends had spread around and yet, not one of them had referenced facts let alone actually been true! He scoffed under his breath, though his finger was still on his bottom lip. He couldn't chew on his nail because of his work with patients but the habit of having his finger there still called him. Once it appeared that Jooheon was done scaring his friends Changkyun looked up, only to see Hoseok and Hyungwon looking frightened and staring at him. 

 

"What?" Changkyun asked. The two just looked at him so he raised his arms to exhibit his confusion, only to lower them when he heard Minhyuk pipe up from behind everyone. 

"While you were spacing out, we dared three people to go on that bus and stay there for an hour, to see if Honey's ghost actually exists. Hyungwon and Hoseok looked the most scared and-" Changkyun cut his friend off, knowing exactly where this was going. 

 

"And I looked like I couldn't care less." Minhyuk nodded in response.

"Okay then, let's go in and get this over with." Changkyun moved from his standing position to begin the journey over to the bus. Though he made sure to drop his finger to greaten his act of bravado in front of the children behind him. 

 

The trio had arrived in front of the bus, taking note of it's old color. The bus had been a light turquoise, with yellow and violet writing all across the sides. Changkyun gripped the broken door, making sure to avoid broken glass, and got it open wide enough for them to enter. He took it upon himself to enter first and was surprised at the lack of insect inhabitants. He had expected many cobwebs and mini nests to occupy the bus, but instead it was almost completely clean. 

 

_ Had he believed in ghosts, that would've been his first sign.  _

 

The other two boys climbed in cautiously behind him, and looked around. All the seats were plastic, so they didn't need to worry about accidentally sitting in some insects fresh batch of offspring. Hoseok and Hyungwon stayed together at the very front of the bus, quickly dusting off the first two seats and sitting down. Changkyun however, walked slightly further into the bus and looked around a bit more. He noticed that everything since the 'accident' had been cleaned up and save for the lump of bent steel in the very back, it was hard to tell the vehicle had been in such a tragic accident after all. Changkyun looked down at a longer bench seat in the middle of the bus, and decided that maybe he could kill some time by taking a nap. So he walked to the bench, cleaned it off, searched it for other unwanted guests and upon finding none, sat down. He rested his legs on the seat as well, he had to admit that he was quite tired despite it only being around 12:30 in the afternoon. Just as he was about to close his eyes he heard a yelp from the front of the bus. Looking up, he saw Hoseok jump into Hyungwon's arms and point to something on the wall. Changkyun looked over to see that one of the cords on the bus that would've been used to notify the driver of a stop move ever so slightly and the bar next to it had newly aquired fingerprints on it. Changkyun let out a small laugh and crossed out what Hoseok thought to be 'supernatural activity' as nothing more than the wind. Hoseok did not feel the same though, because the second the cord moved again, he was up and out of that bus in a hot second, obviously forgetting about Minhyuk's persuasion technique... Punishment. 

Hyungwon looked after Hoseok and appeared to be highly conflicted. He didn't seem to care that Changkyun was still there, but only that he was scared and his 'partner' had just left him. Looking at Changkyun, whom was closing his eyes and beginning to lie down at this point, Hyungwon muttered,

"Hey, Kyun I'm gonna, um, go after Hoseokkie. I'd rather Minhyuk punish um both of us instead of just himsobye!" Just like Hoseok, Hyungwon stood up and practically flew out of the door. 

Changkyun looked after them and rolled his eyes as he laid down, saying to himself, "Fools. This cannot be that bad."  

 

Changkyun woke up to the sound of a soft voice singing along with a chorus of violins. He laid there listening to the quiet ballad, quickly realizing how sad the lyrics were. As he listened on, he began to feel himself fall into the darkened atmosphere and relive his darkest memories, most of them not that far away from the present moment. The song went on, coating Changkyun with what felt like hot oil. Restricting his breath and killing him slowly. He moved his hand to the side and realized that moving calmed the overactive chemicals surrounding him. He moved his hand up the orange seat and held on to the top of it, pulling his torso up. He let his head drop backwards as he did so, not wanting to disturb its immense weight.

Only when he had sat up straight and opened his eyes did he notice a frail figure sitting in the back of the bus and looking out of the window. His curiosity overtook him and he remained there, staring at the captivating figure. From what he could see in his position, it had human features and appeared to be entirely human but it was slightly translucent. It had pale white skin and fox-like eyes. Its pale pink hair was parted in the middle and pushed up and away from his forehead. It wore what appeared to be a large cream sweater with a thick stripe of navy blue along the bottom and black jeans. It was looking out of the window, with a lost and longing expression. Changkyun moved his hips a bit so he could turn and begin to stand up. He placed his feet on the floor of the bus gently so as to not disturb the form. He stood slowly, praying that his joints wouldn't crack and startle the man. Changkyun began walking, as if he were being pushed back by a strong wind as he made his way to the back. He was two steps away from the man when his foot caught on the edge of a bench and tripped him. Though he didn't yell, he fell to the ground with a loud thud. The man looked quickly to where Changkyun had fallen with a terrified glance and suddenly his body dissipated into thin air. Changkyun looked up to where he had been just a moment before and watched as the sun hit dust particles in the air. He traced the scene of the bus with his eyes, going over every area and nook until he determined that he was the only one there. 

 

_ Had he believed in ghosts, he would've known what had happened. _

Changkyun picked himself up and brushed his shirt off, making sure his grey sweatshirt was still as clean as possible. Checking the time, Changkyun saw that the assigned hour had passed and he was allowed to leave the bus without repercussions. After looking around the bus to make sure he hadn't left anything, Changkyun walked to the front and began his descent. His foot touched the asphalt of the parking lot and he turned around once again to quickly study the old bus. He found nothing out of place but a small reflector that was hanging off of the side. Turning back around, he searched for his friends and when he couldn't find them he took out his phone, 133 new messages. He skimmed through them and discovered that his friends had left and he should find his own way back. He let out a small laugh and began walking away, the figure from before stuck in his mind. He decided that he would have to come back tonight so he could see the breathtaking creature again. 

 


	2. 그대의 아름다운 얼굴 [Your Beautiful Face]

The next day, Changkyun felt himself going through his shift in a daze. He hadn't been able to sleep well the night before and exhaustion never seemed to miss a chance to rear it's ugly head. His coworkers had noticed that he was acting slightly off, but no one said anything since they never really talked to the man anyway. Changkyun tried to go through his usual duties but would somehow end up replaying the image of the figure on the bus. He knew he had decided to go again in hopes of seeing the creature again, but the day seemed to drag on and Changkyun was becoming restless. 

 

When his day at work had finally come to a close, Changkyun looked at his phone to check for any signs of his rambunctious friends deciding to pay him another visit. As soon as he felt it was pretty much safe to assume that they would not be dropping by, Changkyun grabbed his things and began to exit the hospital. He walked through six brightly colored hallways, making three lefts and seven rights, before he reached the chrome elevators. Changkyun loved looking close to the bottom of the elevator doors and inspecting them for little streaks and fingerprints left by the small children that would sometimes come in with their families. He noticed that the down button had already been pressed, though he didn’t see anyone around him at the time, nor did he see someone leave the corridor. The third elevator to the right opened it's doors, calling Changkyun over to it. As Changkyun walked past the buttons and into the elevator, he felt a momentary cold breeze. Passing it off as faulty AC he moved forward to press the 'L' button. The elevator was playing a tune that sounded like a ballad, the slow and minor melody making sharp twists and turns through the air before reaching Changkyun's ears and invading his personal space. The elevator makes it way down six floors, presenting Changkyun with enough time to check his phone for his friend's whereabouts just one more time.  

He steps out of the elevator as soon as the doors are fully open and greets a lobby filled with patients and doctors waiting to check in to their respective areas. He's never been a very social human, so he only stops to talk to people if he absolutely has to; but he is still very well known among his coworkers. He walks past the front desk, returning the bows he receives from the women working at the front desk, and finally reaches the doors. After longing to do so all day, Changkyun pushed the two glass doors on the side entrance open instead of using the automatic doors at the main entrance. The air hit his face once more, though the temperature was quite nice and the humidity was not nearly as high as it had been yesterday. Changkyun rolled the sleeves of his dress shirt up to the ends of his forearms and draped his jacket over top of his messenger bag. making sure that it would stay in it's place before he kept walking. 

Changkyun looked at the bus, still unmoving, in the parking lot across the way. He couldn't decide whether he should go and wait now or go back to his apartment first. Changkyun continued walking subconsciously towards his car and when he had arrived at it with keys in his hand he decided that maybe it would be best to go home and change first so he could be a bit more comfortable. 

Changkyun opened the door and ducked into his most prized possession, the leather seat immediately conforming to the shape of his body as it had done so many times before. He rolled his shoulders and stretched his neck so he could easily begin his journey. Changkyun reached for his bag in the passenger seat and fished his keys out from the front pocket. As soon as he had found them, he chose the correct key and pushed it into the ignition. Changkyun felt a shiver glide down his spine when the engine started, producing a low, rumbling growl. He pushed the clutch in and shifted to the appropriate gear, before pulling out of his parking spot and beginning his journey on top of the asphalt. 

He made it home within thirty minutes, and he was still jamming to his most recently purchased album. He parked his car inside of the apartment complex's garage and began gathering the things he wanted to take inside with him, which included his bag, jacket, and the remnants of his breakfast that morning. He opened the door carefully, remaining acutely aware of the car next to him, and collected his small pile from the passenger side. Changkyun closed and locked his door when he turned around and was faced with Jooheon standing next to him. Changkyun jumped at the surprise and almost dropped everything that he was holding. Jooheon laughed at him, happy that he had succeeded in scaring his rather quiet and calm friend. 

"Changkyunie, what are you going to do today?" Jooheon said with a sly grin. Changkyun desperately hoped that Jooheon wasn’t planning on staying at his apartment, but as soon as he looked to his friends hand and found a bag he groaned. 

"Well, it looks like I won't be doing anything now, will I?" Changkyun responded. Jooheon smiled once again and began walking towards the door of the garage. Changkyun followed closely behind and sighed, afraid that he wouldn't be able to go back to the bus like he had wanted to. The pair walked into the complex's elevator and Changkyun stepped forward to press the button for his sixteenth floor apartment. At this point the he had ridden in the elevator enough that he was used to the sudden change in height and did not become dizzy, but Jooheon couldn't say the same for himself. He mentally prepared himself and moved back against the rail for the support he knew he would need at around the tenth floor. Changkyun laughed to himself but remained silent for the rest of the ride, trying to plan a way to get out of Jooheon’s grasp. As he had predicted, Jooheon fell on the floor due to vertigo, when soon after the doors opened, revealing the hallway that Changkyun was so familiar with. He stepped out of the elevator, helping Jooheon up after. They both regained their bearings and began down the marble floor. Jooheon looked around at the walls, appreciating the variety of photography  from Jeju and Busan; while Changkyun hept his head down and continued thinking. 

When they reached the 1642nd room, Changkyun reached down for his keys and quickly found them. He selected his smallest key and pushed it into the lock, swiftly opening the door soon after. The two walked into Changkyun's apartment, the place never failing to amaze Jooheon. At a first glance, the entrance hallway was painted a light grey, with a small metal and glass table off to the side, holding a bowl for keys and a small bamboo plant was placed next to it. Changkyun placed his keys in that same bowl and walked two steps before turning left and walking into his home office. The majority of the apartment’s floors were tile, not excluding his office. Jooheon could hear his shoes tap whenever he walked, so he began forming a rhythm with his steps and began rapping and improvising. Changkyun laughed when he heard his friend rapping in the hallway, and he set his bag down on his desk while unpacking the unfinished paperwork he had. 

The two spent the larger part of the evening watching TV, and decided to order pizza for dinner instead of cooking something from scratch. While waiting for their food, they continued on with their gaming and Changkyun beat Jooheon relentlessly. Jooheon was face down on the floor and yelling when the sound of a doorbell cut through his cries for mercy and Changkyun's laughter. Changkyun stood up from his place on the floor next to Jooheon and walked towards the door. Once he had arrived at the entrance to his apartment, he turned the doorknob and opened the door, nearly hitting Jooheon who had suddenly appeared next to him. He laughed under his breath and turned to the woman delivering the pizza. 

"One large cheese pizza, an order of breadsticks, and an extra large Hawaiian pizza for-"

When she began the order she had been reading off of her slip of paper, but the second she looked up she froze. Changkyun looked at her, slightly confused, and Jooheon the same. 

"I've been delivering pizzas for a whole year and not once have I received an order for an extra large Hawaiian pizza. When I did I didn't think I would be delivering it to such attractive men." She blushed after saying this which only confused Changkyun further, how could someone who had just said something so bold suddenly become shy? Jooheon had taken the spot in front of the door and was now staring blankly at the girl. Changkyun reached into his wallet and pulled out the exact total that he had seen on the receipt and motioned for the food before saying, 

"As much as we appreciate the compliment, we both are attracted to something that looks an awful lot like these breadsticks. Thank you again, have a good night" Changkyun shut the door, leaving the poor girl to stand there staring at the steel grey door. 

 

It didn't take long for the boys to finish their food, and they continued playing games. Jooheon decided that he had had enough of Changkyun winning pretty soon and refused to play. Instead, Changkyun chose a single player game while Jooheon laid on the couch behind him. As Changkyun's bright cherry red car whizzed past the finish line he heard a snore behind him, and realized that Jooheon had fallen asleep. Changkyun knew that as soon as Jooheon was actually asleep it was very, very hard to wake him. If Changkyun wanted to escape, he had to do it now while his friend was practically unconscious. 

He covered Jooheon with a blanket from his hall closet and walked into his room and quickly changed into a sweatshirt in jeans. Once he decided that he was comfortable enough but still looked good, Changkyun opened his door and walked silently into the front hall. He put on his tennis shoes and tied them tightly, and then picked his house and car keys out from the bowl. Changkyun was used to being quiet, so moving around was not much of a problem, but he was most concerned about how loud his door would be when it shut. He turned the knob as quietly as possible and opened the door slowly, trying to keep his control over the door consistent. He took very small steps outside of his apartment for fear of pushing the door too far in the wrong direction. But the second he was outside and he let the door close, he took off, practically running to the elevator. It didn't take long for him to get to the elevators, and he hoped that no one else would be using the elevators at this time in the night. 

Changkyun had to remind himself to slow down. He was so anxious to see that beautiful creature again, but he feared if he was too active and appeared hyper, it wouldn't come out. He thought about the circumstances of their first meeting. He had been sleeping, and it was during the day. A lot of the meeting was a bit foggy in his mind but he remembered the ballad on the radio distinctly; if he had a piano at home he probably could play it. He merged right and turned into the hospital parking lot. Even though he wasn't on his shift, he still had the pass to park there and he wanted to walk to the bus; because he didn't know if the low growl of the engine would scare the beautiful thing away. 

He killed the engine and unlocked his door, while looking around to make sure none of the other doctors he knew were around to see this happen. When he was positive no one else was around him, he continued getting out of his car. He was still in his silent mode, being sure to shut his door carefully and he almost didn't lock his car with the horn turning on as well, but he realized after that if someone broke in, he wouldn't hear the alarm go off. As soon as everything was taken care of, Changkyun began his walk to the other side of the asphalt. The night had a silent chill in the air, that snuck up on him every time the wind began to move. But the chill was a pleasant one, like a loved one running their fingers down your spine. He loved this type of weather, seemingly perfect until the wind blows; but to those who appreciate it, the weather is indeed, perfect. He had made it to the bus before he was given time to think about what he was going to do. How does one conduct themselves around this creature? Will it be mad that he came back after seeing him the first time? He was about to climb into the bus completely unaware of what he was doing. 

Just like the first time he had tried to get in, the door was closed. He pried it open with all of the strength in his body, a small adrenaline rush giving him an extra jolt of strength. He managed to get the door open for a second time, and ducked as he climbed the aged and oxidized stairs. The bus looked the same as before, eerily clean. However at night, there was minimal light given off of the hospital sign, so Changkyun had to stand still for a moment to let his eyes adjust. 

He stood there for a few moments, letting the black blobs become maroon shapes; and he heard something. It was a faint breath, akin to that of a human. To account for his lack of vision, his ears had begun amplifying every little sound. He could hear the slight creak of the aluminum beneath his feet, and the tapping of the wind against the body of the bus. But then, once again, he heard a breath. It was a long breath, with the inhale as almost a drag. The breath sounded heavy and uncomfortable. It happened two more times before Changkyun was entirely sure the breath was not his. He began moving forward, or in reference to the bus, backwards. He walked to the seat where he had slept before, and looked to the back of the bus, hoping to find the thing again. He could see something above the base of the seats, but he had no idea if it was anything other than the seats or their cushions. He began walking further back, passing two rows of seats on the upper level of the bus before he came to the last row, where the creature had been before. Then he heard the breathing again, but it was louder, and yet more comfortable. Changkyun knelt down to see the seat better and reached for one of the metal posts next to him when his vision adjusted. Before him, sleeping on the seats of a bus, was the creature he had seen before. Though at this point Changkyun found it difficult to call it anything but a human. It was sleeping peacefully, each breath it took seemed to come easy, despite the previous drags Changkyun had heard. Now that Changkyun could see it up close, he noticed it's delicate facial features. It had high cheekbones and a beautiful rounded chin, and even though Changkyun really liked his own nose he felt he could say he liked this one almost as much. He looked at it's pink and now tousled hair and thought it could possibly be the softest looking hair he has seen in his life. Changkyun continued sitting there and staring at it for a bit before he subconsciously raised his hand and reached across to it. Using his index finger, Changkyun brushed its hair away from its eyes, and he relished in the feeling of the human's skin, though it was uncharacteristically cold. Changkyun realized that he had kept his fingers there for a bit longer than he should've and he began moving his hand away when two fox-like eyes snapped open and a hand caught his wrist. 

"What're you doing?"  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with an update! I'm sorry it took so long, I really wanted to update before but then I got stuck in two hour long rehearsals and a bunch of other things so there are some pathetic excuses. Either way, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter just as much as the last if not more and thank you so much for all of the comments and kudos, they really warm my heart ~<3  
> (also thank you my beautiful beta Angela ily)


	3. 손을 잡아도 돼요? [May I Hold Your Hand?]

Changkyun nearly fell from shock. Here it was, the moment he was waiting for. Though he didn't expect _ that _ to be the way it happened. Changkyun's cheeks quickly turned a bright shade of red and the person before him threw Changkyun’s wrists to the side, getting them away from it’s face. It turned on it's side and began to sit up, not taking it's eyes off of Changkyun's now frozen form. 

 

"N-n-nothing, I jus-" Changkyun stuttered his way through the sentence. His mind had become a desert, with the hot sun beating down and no oasis of thought in sight. The person had narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing the being next to himself. Though Changkyun noticed the skin where his fingers had touched had become more colorful, turning a light pink akin to his hair. 

 

The person noticed a small smile had appeared on Changkyun's face and contemplated it before saying, "So clearly I am not going to get an answer anytime soon. Let me introduce myself. I am Kihyun, Yoo Kihyun. I am 22 years old. Now, who are you?" 

 

Changkyun continued looking at the man in front of him but quickly realized that he should at least say something. "Oh, um. I am Changkyun and I am 26." Changkyun stopped speaking abruptly but the other was pressuring him to go on. "I-uh work at that hospital. I've just recently graduated and I-I was lucky enough to find a g-good paying job." 

 

The stutter he had honed as a child seemed to follow him around for his whole life, until he had to drop it for an interview; but every now and then it would come back, exposing Changkyun's anxiety. Kihyun's gaze continued to bore into Changkyun's skull, which did not help the awkward atmosphere. 

 

Kihyun's gaze was more curious than it was dangerous now. It was as if he hadn't seen a human in years, Changkyun thought.

 

"How did you know?" Kihyun asked abruptly. Changkyun bit back the urge to groan, had he just said everything out loud? The look he was getting from Kihyun answered that question though. So, going along with the flow of the conversation, Changkyun carefully asked,

"How long has it been since you've seen a human?"

 

"Well I am a human." Kihyun started defensively but then his tone changed to be more thoughtful, "But it's been about two years since I've talked to one." 

 

Changkyun wished he would continue and tell him more about why he hadn't seen a human or why he was on this bus instead of somewhere else if he was indeed a human. But to his dismay, the other boy stopped and continued looking at him. So he sat there silently, but he looked down, trying to avoid the other's intense stare. When he looked down he noticed more about Kihyun, like his choice in shoes and his legs. Kihyun had beautiful legs, though it didn't come as much of a surprise when the rest of Kihyun looked so perfect; and his shoes... Were very clean, as if they had been worn once and never touched again. Changkyun wondered for a brief moment if they gave him blisters, or if the other could even get blisters. But as Changkyun was studying them, the shoes began to move backwards, causing Changkyun to look up at Kihyun. He was moving back, and his face looked like it was contorted into a stiff expression, as if Kihyun's face had suddenly become plastic and he was trying with all of his might to get it to move. 

 

"Why are you staring at me?" 

 

Changkyun had to bite back a laugh; this coming from the man who had his eyes glued to Changkyun's forehead not a second ago! But Changkyun had never been very good at holding back his laughter. He may be introverted, but if he found something funny or laugh-worthy he wouldn't hold back. So what came out instead of a clear and lighthearted laugh became a muffled guffaw, which Changkyun honestly had no idea he was capable of. Kihyun looked up at him as soon as he made that noise and Changkyun didn't need any of his psych analysis classes to tell that he had unintentionally hurt the man before him. Changkyun's face immediately fell and he reached a hand out, wanting to comfort him even before he could explain that he hadn't meant to laugh. But Kihyun saw the hand and flinched, moving away the second it came closer to him. 

"Wait but Ki- I didn't-" But before Changkyun could stutter a full sentence, the man before him had dissipated into the air once more.   

 

But Changkyun wouldn’t have that. He had gone to the lengths of distracting Jooheon and sneaking out he was not about to leave after what seemed like the shortest conversation that he had ever experienced. So he stood up and looked around, though he pretty much knew he wouldn’t be able to see him in the air. 

 

“Kihyun! Kihyun! YOO KIHYUN!!!” He called out as loud as he could, desperately hoping that whichever form the other boy was in, he was still on the bus. Changkyun continued looking around for the other. He scoured the seats, looking above and underneath. He climbed on top of them to look at the luggage rack, and just incase Kihyun was making some sort of twisted metaphor, he checked the trash bins. The intense searching continued for about fifteen minutes more before Changkyun sat down and sighed heavily. He couldn’t find Kihyun, and he would have to wait for another entire day before he could even resume his search, let alone talk to the man. 

 

Although he had managed to find a comfortable position on the ground, he knew that staying there would do him no good. So, with a heave, Changkyun collected his limbs and stood up. During this, he kept his eyes glued to a small collection of dirt on the window. It was for no particular reason at first but then Changkyun noticed movement just behind the clump. With calculated steps, Changkyun moved closer, eyeing that same spot. When he arrived at the window, he formed goggles with his hands and searched the landscape outside of the bus. Suddenly he spotted a silhouette, but it disappeared as quickly as it had come. Forgetting about his previous mission, his curiosity overtook him and Changkyun began walking outside. 

 

Stepping carefully and quietly out of the bus, he padded across the lot and very soon realized he was at the spot he had been looking at before. He scanned the area around him, finding nothing at first. He did, however, notice two large boulders that were blocking his vision. Moving slowly, he walked around the boulders. When he had been halfway behind the slightly smaller boulder of the two, he saw a flash of movement under the curtain of twilight. Changkyun stopped quickly, and surveyed his surroundings again. When nothing showed, Changkyun continued forward and looked behind the second rock. A mix of relief and shock shone in his eyes as he moved to sit next to the boy he had found. 

 

"Kihyun," he tried. Kihyun visibly tensed next to him, though he never looked up. Changkyun could feel the awkwardness among them, but he had just searched for him so he was not going to sit in silence. 

 

"Kihyun I'm -um- sorry for laughing. I really didn't mean to offend you I just couldn't help it! I really just-" His rambling dialogue was cut off when he felt an ice cold hand on his. He looked over at Kihyun, eyes brimming with curiosity. Kihyun looked back at him, and suddenly, Changkyun felt the hand grasping his become slightly warmer, in the way that a heart could be warmed. 

 

~

 

The two boys spent the entire night talking. They spoke about things happening in the world, their families, their work, and just their lives in general. The sun had begun to show its face and the sky was turning a dark shade of coral by the time Changkyun had realized he had to work in the morning. He looked over at the figure next to him and smiled. Changkyun and Kihyun had talked all through the night, the only times their hands left the other's being when Kihyun became particularly animated while telling a story or Changkyun's habit of shielding his mouth when he laughed took over. It was a mystery to Changkyun whether Kihyun was always this open with people he had just met. But the fact that their hands were still entwined did not bother him in the slightest way, in fact he welcomed the warm feeling in his stomach every time one of them would start tracing patterns over the back of the other's hand. He thought about fate and coincidence and the parts that they must've played in this meeting. Did Kihyun also believe in fate? 

 

Changkyun shifted and reached for his phone in his pocket. The time read 4:45am and he knew that if he didn't leave now, Jooheon would wake up and realize that he hadn't been there the whole night, and Changkyun was really not in the mood for an impromptu interrogation with his friends. So, even though every atom of his body told him he should stay, he carefully moved his legs and began to stand up. Reluctantly, he pulled his hand out of Kihyun's and before he registered exactly what he was doing; he bent down and kissed the sleeping boy on the forehead after brushing his soft hair to the side. 

Changkyun began walking in the direction of his car feeling disappointed that he couldn't leave a note, but that just meant that he would have to come back as soon as possible. Which, much like holding the boy's hand, Changkyun did not mind at all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back my wonderful readers! Sorry it's been so long.. Guess who is bad at updating hehe ME!  
> Buuuut I have a Changghost (as I call this story) playlist and I put it on and got it done.. {I'll write out the playlist for you guys once I'm done talking here >,< Let me know if you guys like any of the songs! My twitter is @junhonkmyhorn ;D}   
> I hope you enjoyed it and remember that kudos and comments are lovely, but not as lovely as you.   
> | Also thanks to my beta because even tho shes a beta shes an alpha in my heart ! |
> 
>  
> 
> Changghost (working) playlist;  
> So High (feat. Jisim)- Standing Egg  
> Voice- Standing Egg  
> Wings- KREAM  
> Yell- Standing Egg  
> Goodbye- 2ne1  
> 백야 White Night- Nell  
> East of Eden- Zella Day  
> Time Passing Through the Memories- Nell (cover by Sunggyu)  
> 獨活- Aaron Yan  
> 아 왜 I Wait- DAY6  
> Melted- Akdong Musician  
> 這不是我- Aaron Yan  
> Blow Away (feat. Punch)- 배치기  
> Cansada- Luis Fonsi  
> Coma- B.A.P  
> Compas- Zella Day  
> Divine- Girls Generation  
> Monologue- B.A.P  
> Reset (feat. Jinsil)- Tiger JK  
> Tell Me What To Do- SHINee  
> Why- Taeyeon  
> 11:11- Taeyeon  
> Fine- Taeyeon  
> Circle's Dream- Subin  
> Swing- Subin  
> Moon- Subin  
> 그럴 텐데 I Would- DAY6  
> 마주보여 서 있어 Between Me & You- Infinite  
> 미워 Hate- Subin  
> 이 곳 Our Love- Subin  
> 역시 혹은 다시 Indeed, Maybe, Again- Subin  
> 너 사용법 The Manual- Eddy Kim  
> 사랑했던 날- Solji  
> 편한사이- Standing Egg  
> Sleepless- Standing Egg  
> Miss You- Standing Egg  
> Nobody Knows- Standing Egg  
> Equation- Hans Zimmer & Camille  
> Aprendí- Luis Fonsi  
> Que Quieres de Mi- Luis Fonsi  
> La Misma Luna- Matisseo  
> Curious- BEAST  
> 위험해 Danger- Highlight  
> Truth (Minah Solo)- Girl's Day  
> Beautiful (Acoustic Ver.)- Monsta X  
> Kumbaya (Come By Here) [Sojin Solo]- Girl's Day


	4. 마음이 아파서 [Because My Heart Hurts]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to let you all know that this chapter is Kihyun centric and takes place roughly a month or two prior to his death : )

"Wow you're really not going to help me are you?"

 

Kihyun sighed in mild frustration as he tried for the fifth time to pull his hood up and over his hair. He had originally wanted to save his hairstyle as he had worked so hard in the morning, but by the time he had tried eight times, he gave up. Kihyun pulled the sweatshirt off of his body, only to put it back on a moment later; however this time he didn't toss the hood down and onto his neck. 

 

With the thick black fabric covering his hair, Kihyun continued into his kitchen. For whatever reason, he liked baking with a hood. At 3am. With music playing. Every now and then, he would get really into the vocals and start belting at around 3:40 while waiting for his creation to be bestowed upon him from the oven. It was only then that one of his neighbors would pound on the wall to 'ask' him to stop. Although Kihyun usually relented, he didn't hold back when he happened to be up for one of his neighbors night-encounters. He figured if the whole building was going to wake up from the noise, it would be more pleasant to hear singing instead of  _ singing _ . 

 

Kihyun pulled his headphones and phone out of the large sweatshirt pocket and placed it all on the counter in front of him. His fingertips touched the cold granite, sending a shiver up through his arm and down his spine, fanning out through his back. After pulling the sleeves over his knuckles, he tapped the home button on his phone, waking it up from a slumber that he himself should probably be taking part in. The time flashed on the screen and Kihyun nearly fell backwards, forgetting to first let his eyes adjust to the electronic light. It took a few moments, but soon Kihyun walked back to the counter and saw that the time was now 03:24. He laughed to himself, thinking about having to get up tomorrow and open his shop. Luckily, it was his own shop so if he needed to come in late, the only person to fire him would be himself. 

 

"Although honestly that's something I'd do." Kihyun said to to empty apartment, imagining his best friend's laugh in response. 

 

Remembering that he wanted to actually un-lock his phone, Kihyun placed his thumb on the fingerprint sensor and opened the device. The screen stared back at him, littered with icons and little red bubbles of notifications. Due to his consistent early morning baking, he had decided to place his music app as the very first icon on the first screen, top left corner. He touched the icon and his world opened up. He sifted through the app for a few moments, still trying to decide which playlist he was most in the mood for. Unsurprisingly, he chose the one titled 'wot in sleep deprivation' which also happened to be one of his most commonly visited playlists. It's not difficult to guess the reason why. 

 

Listening to the newly chosen playlist, Kihyun stuffed his phone into his sweatshirt pocket and turned around quickly. The latter causing him to be hit in the belly by his phone and wince. Regaining his composure, Kihyun walked towards his cabinets. He pulled out two large bowls, one metal and the other glass. Kihyun paused for a moment, leaving his hands on the bowls. 

 

"Wait Kihyun you dumbass, what're you going to make?" Kihyun laughed at himself.  He had a knack for memorizing recipes, so he thought through all of the different possible recipes. Settling on yellow cake with chocolate icing, Kihyun pulled out baking powder, flour, sugar, butter, salt, vanilla, milk, and three eggs. He also retrieved the necessary measuring tools, a fork, and an electric mixer. He decided to mix the dry ingredients first, and put them all in the glass bowl. As he measured two and a half cups of flour, Egoist by Roy Kim came on. The music flooded Kihyun's ears, speaking to him about a changed love, planets, and stars. A love that was too warm. 

 

_ “you're a planet and I'm a star” _

 

Kihyun stopped. The flour left in the mixing cup fell into the bowl, the cup remaining at a 45 degree angle. Something in his heart _ hurt _ . Kihyun winced, drawing his free hand to grasp at his sweatshirt that covered his chest. Kihyun stumbled backwards, only stopping when his back hit the stove. 

 

\- 

 

To say Kihyun was confused would be an understatement. He had woken up that morning on the cold tile floor, a cup dusted with flour in his hand. He couldn't remember what had happened before he fell asleep, and it scared him. Kihyun could usually recollect every moment of his day. When he had gone to sit up, a small pain sparked in his chest. His eyes searched the room around him, revealing that it was his kitchen. Bowls had been pulled out, as had ingredients. 

 

Kihyun tucked his legs underneath himself and stood up cautiously. As he further surveyed the scene, he decided that he must've been baking at ungodly hours of the morning again. By the looks of the ingredients it was a yellow cake as well. Kihyun placed his hand to his forehead and attempted to massage his temples. 

 

Memories of his dream hit him hard. The setting of it was a sort of void. Kihyun was chasing something, though he had no idea what. He kept running and running, through the torn walls, empty arteries, and all around. It was not until he had exhausted himself that he stopped and looked at his surroundings. A heart. He had been running through a human heart.

 

Even as he stood there, Kihyun felt something  compelling him to move, to keep chasing. But he remained, and the ground began to shake. The heart was beating faster and faster until it was almost too quick. Kihyun felt vibrations in his legs from the movement and his own attempt to remain steady. The beating continued in it’s incline of speed until it climaxed. Kihyun looked around wildly as the heart began slowing its pace, his legs feeling relief and his muscles crying. 

The beat got slower, enough to be able to count ten seconds, thirty seconds, forty in between each beat. Until the pauses became too long to count, and the heart ceased to move. The moment Kihyun registered that hearts weren't supposed to stop beating was the same moment that the woven muscle below him became untied and stretched, letting him fall into the metallic black void below him. 

 

Kihyun shuddered upon the recollection, frightening his dog who'd just walked out of Kihyun's bedroom to investigate. The dog approached him, licking his neck and cheeks. Kihyun brought his hand to the chocolate brown fur atop the dog’s head and smoothed it down, calming the animal as well as himself. 

 

Even as Kihyun retreated into his bedroom to begin his routine, the dream haunted him with a dull pain in his chest. He knew that he was overthinking, and that he was actually okay and yet; the void refused to rid itself from his desperate sanity. 

 

He pulled on a simple outfit with a feeling that today was not going to get any easier. He walked into his bathroom and washed his face. His dog had been nuzzling its face into his leg for the past few minutes, refusing to relinquish whatever attention he had earned. His nose had begun near Kihyun’s upper thigh but had now moved to the back of his knee, awfully close to- 

"AHH! GaerAN! THAt tIckLES!!" Kihyun yelped the moment the dog's nose hit his most ticklish spot. Gaeran, surprised by this sudden outburst, moved his nose and looked up at his owner. As soon as Kihyun settled down, he looked down at his puppy and smiled, Gaeran was one of those dogs that genuinely appeared to be smiling almost all of the time. 

 

Kihyun looked back in the mirror, studying his complexion and finding small blemishes. Unnoticeable to the public eye, yet they seemed to be glowing  neon yellow in Kihyun's mind. He smothered more concealer over them, not having even begun his process with BB cream. Leaning back, he studied himself once more and almost admired his craftsmanship. Makeup could truly work miracles sometimes. 

 

Going through his mental ‘morning’ checklist, Kihyun opened his door and walked back into his kitchen. Gaeran followed him, tail wagging and breath audible. Kihyun covered the cake ingredients from his endeavors last night and pushed the bowls aside to make a small breakfast of his own. Akin to a hummingbird, the time Kihyun had before he had to leave for work passes by quickly and he soon found himself bidding Gaeran goodbye. 

 

“Goodbye Rannie, I’ll be back soon. Make sure to watch the apartment, okay?” Gaeran wagged his tail at a faster pace in response and Kihyun smiled wide. It broke his heart to have to leave such a sweet animal behind every day, but such was the price of having a companion. Kihyun pushed his door shut and locked the apartment, a tone sounding to assure him his dwelling would be under lock and key. He turned away, walking towards the elevators and noticed the pain in his chest had subsided drastically. 

 

It was so early in the morning that time had appeared to stop; though Kihyun never thought that 5:30 was an ungodly hour. He could hear the beeping of alarm clocks, blaring their way through the doors, surely disturbing their owners. His ears had become so tuned in to the beeping that he nearly missed the arrival of his elevator, only brought back to reality when a figure bumped into him, seemingly exhausted from a night shift. One fleeting ‘sorry’ later, Kihyun found himself watching the metal doors close in front of him and he pressed the button to the ground floor, taking time to collect himself before his real day began. 

 

Kihyun’s eyes flitted up from staring at the ground to find the nicely furnished apartment lobby, and only one other person there, sitting in front of the fire. It was early April and the dewy mornings still chilled some bones, allowing no complaints when a fire was made. Striding through the lobby, Kihyun quickly passed by the other person paying little attention to them, other than how to successfully maneuver  around them. The glass doors parted in front of him, automatic in their want to retreat. It was less than a minute’s worth of walking before he reached his hybrid bakery and cafe. Ever since he had originally learned to bake this had been Kihyun’s dream, to open his own bakery. It was while he realized what is popular that he decided to also make coffee, therefore drawing more morning customers in, though not excluding those chilled to the bone on a rainy day or amidst a blizzard. 

 

Kihyun looked up at the simple white font on the glass windows. He had chosen a pleasing font, not something too thick for fear of it screaming the name into the street. Cafes that screamed their names were never really appealing to him. Kihyun pulled the keys to the establishment from his pocket and opened the doors for the first time this morning. Due to the early hour, light had just barely touched it’s fingertips to the cold tile of the shop, producing a warm glow. The air, however, still had a nip to it and Kihyun pulled his jacket closer to his body, excited for the warm spring day in store. 

As per usual, Kihyun spent the morning flitting from one counter to the other cleaning, then mixing, then baking, then cooling, and back to cleaning. His back and forth process had gone on for roughly an hour before his first employee showed up. When they did, Kihyun whipped around, ready to greet them as customers. Through this though, the man whom had walked in became as equally startled as his boss, muscles tensed and eyes wide. 

 

"Ah! Rowoon, I'm sorry." Kihyun relaxed at the sight of his younger employee, letting his shoulders fall to their somewhat relaxed original position. 

 

"Hyung, am I late?" A worried look took over the boy's face as he waited for his Hyung's answer, hoping to keep his job. 

 

"No, you're not, don't worry. I just didn't get much sleep last night so my sense of time is a bit off." Kihyun's neck turned a light shade of pink; he never liked admitting weakness' of his own. He liked to have a tall demeanor, despite his lack of stature. Rowoon nodded and retreated to the staff room to put his things away before joining his boss in the preparation for the day ahead. 

 

The scent of vanilla wafted around the cafe as if it were a sweet spirit, finding its way through tables and greeting new arrivals. It was more apparent in some areas, whereas others would always retain the scent of arabica beans and hazelnut; as a sweet drink blended with cream along with a slice of bread had been the sole order of a regular for nearly two years. The man had marked his spot and come in so often that all of the workers knew him and his name. Some even knew him outside of the cafe and liked to joke that he was never able to talk before a cup of coffee or two, since he seemed to be an active participant in discussions in all places but the cafe. 

The time was nearing 8:10, and Kihyun decided that he would wait until Himchan arrived and ordered to take his break. He stood behind the glass separating him from the tables and jackets in his cafe, the glass covered in flour. His elbows felt sore supporting his weight on the cold granite, and if having his head in his hands didn't give him as much relief from his headache, he would've moved long before. Kihyun poked his hand out from underneath his chin and began tracing patterns in the flour, his mind completely absent. 

It was only the quiet ding of the bell above his door that managed to bring him back to the world around him. He looked up to see several hearts and a small arrow. 

"Kihyun what the hell is wrong with you?" He thought to himself, his face contorting into an angry frown. It was one thing to have dreams of running inside of hearts, but now they clouded his vision. He had almost fallen back into his daze, but another voice interrupted his half conscious  state,

 

"Bad day?" Kim Himchan's slightly timbered comment came and Kihyun would've laughed it off and replied with a quick, 'you have no idea'. But he suddenly felt himself unable, as he had laid his eyes upon what Kihyun now knew had to be the most beautiful person on planet earth. A man about Kihyun's height was standing there in all of his glory next to the shops longtime customer. Kihyun assumed his jaw had long since dropped, and really, he didn't mind. He stayed that way until Himchan snapped him out of his trance by physically snapping. 

 

"Kihyun? Hello? I know you know my order but you may want to get his as well?" Kihyun now had turned his attention to Himchan, looking at his freshly dyed locks and absorbing what the man had just said. Kihyun was afraid to look back to the other man for fear of not being able to look away. Fortunately, the other hadn't noticed Kihyun's staring yet, and Kihyun felt that should he suddenly stare again he could afford to for a little bit. Kihyun watched with fervor as Himchan pushed the other man in front of himself and shook his shoulder, urging him on. 

 

If  Kihyun thought that just seeing the kid made his heart race, he had discovered that the previous sensation was nothing compared to when the man actually spoke. The man spoke up with one of the most deliciously deep voices Kihyun could remember, and suddenly Kihyun wondered what he had done to deserve meeting someone like this. Kihyun used his normal cafe owner voice, asking the man what he wanted, but when he spoke up,  _ when he spoke up _ -

 

"Hi I think I'll just have a mint lemonade please." Kihyun felt a shiver run down his spine from the pure octave of the man's voice and how it seemed to envelop him in a warmth he hadn't even thought to be possible. He could do nothing but nod dumbly and write down the man's order. He wanted, no, he  _ needed _ to get this man's name. 

 

"What's the name for the order?" Kihyun asked, praying that Himchan would realize that he was trying to get his name; as the other knew very well that Kihyun could put a face to an order in any mental state, and therefore did not usually take names for orders. Luckily, Himchan seemed to catch the hint that Kihyun threw his way and simply stood in the back, admiring this interaction with a sly smile. 

 

"Lim Changkyun." The man, Changkyun, smiled melting what had been left of Kihyun's frozen heart. With a sudden courage, Kihyun spoke up and somehow managed to respond with a,

 

"Nice to meet you Changkyun-ssi, I'm Kihyun." Call him hopeless, but Kihyun could've sworn he saw Changkyun's eyes sparkle. He hoped for his own sake that he actually did. 

 

With the sparkle came a fire. Kihyun felt his chest begin to constrict once again, though he tried not to think much of it. He was far too preoccupied with another person in front of him. He carried on, making the coffee and the lemonade, and picking only the very best mint leaves to place in the drink. Kihyun finished Himchan's order first, as he had made it so many times before, and the lemonade only slightly after. Though if you ask Himchan, making the lemonade slower and second was simply a delay tactic. 

 

Kihyun called Changkyun's name out to the store, saying the name just for the hell of it and tasting the syllables on his tongue. They taste like fresh snickerdoodles on a cold day, he decided. Kihyun locked eyes with Changkyun once more as he handed him his drink, his hand wrapped around it so that their fingers would touch. He had always been taught not to ignore the power of touch, as it tends to leave a lasting impression, should you want to be remembered. 

 

As the drink was about to slide into the other's hand, fingertips met fingertips and the tightness in Kihyun's chest became even greater. _ Kihyun couldn't breathe _ . The moment Changkyun tore their connection though, he could breathe just fine. Changkyun had a confused expression dressed on his beautiful face, obviously having seen some sort of reaction from Kihyun during that moment. Aside from the remaining blush, Kihyun wasn't sure exactly how he'd appeared and he wasn't sure he wanted to know. 

 

Changkyun went to sit down with Himchan, and Kihyun later discovered through the power of observation that he was much younger than Himchan. Changkyun also recognized another common face in the shop, Himchan's friend Junhong, from his school. Forgetting all about his previously intended break, Kihyun remained at the counter, trying to hear whatever he could, and spent as much time as possible memorizing the lines and shapes of Changkyun's face, committing him to memory. 

 

It was not until both of the customers stood up and threw away their cups that Kihyun realized this bliss of his would have to end. He wanted to ask Changkyun for his number, but they had also just met and Kihyun didn't want to seem too forward. All the felt he could do is continue to hope Himchan brings his friend back. 

 

Kihyun watched in mild despair as the pair walked out of the door, for once dreading hearing the light bell from above the door announcing the flow of people. Himchan bid his goodbyes, and Suddenly Kihyun was separated from Changkyun by two glass panes and 20 feet. The pain in his chest seemed to grow ever so slightly, leveling out at dull and constant. When he could no longer see the backs of their figures he retreated, calling someone else to go and work the cash register. He opened the door to the break room and practically fell onto the couch, resting his mind and heart.  _ 'Too much stress,' _ he thought as he relaxed there for a moment.  

 

Too much stress.   

 

Kihyun awoke only minutes later, from a dramatic dream of his building catching on fire. Although it was not uncommon for horrific dreams involving his shop to occur should he fall asleep there, having a dream of that nature certainly did nothing to help his heart. Spending a brief moment piecing his memories together from before he fell asleep, Kihyun’s chest seemed to constrict every time he thought of Himchan's friend Changkyun. 

 

Though the name was unusual, Kihyun quite liked the way it rolled off of his tongue, though Kihyun thought that he preferred keeping the name to himself, like a precious chocolate. He stood up from his position in the break room, and despite the fact that he still had a few minutes left of his break, Kihyun went out to help once more. 

 

"Oppa, are you sure you want to come back already? You look exceptionally tired" Nahyun turned to him, her hands covered in flour and her eyes coated with worry. Kihyun smiled at her, feeling cheerier now knowing that someone was concerned for his well-being. 

 

"I'm sure, I don't think I can rest properly here anyway." He replied, and Nahyun gave a nod of understanding. Kihyun kept walking into the kitchen, looking at their stock and seeing what would have to be made next. Kihyun noticed a shortage in Banana bread, so he strolled through the area, half retrieving the ingredients and half spying on his employee's work. But he finished rather quickly, not taking much time to actually search for the different ingredients as he had been the one to stock them that morning. 

 

The timers went ticking by on the ovens, and sounds of electric beaters mixed with mindless chatter filled the cafe, a pleasant ambience. Kihyun's hands flew from one place to another, focusing all his energy on the desserts and breads, having realized that a single thought donated to the man he had met earlier would result in a slight pain. He used his hands to knead, control, and set; at this point in his career, Kihyun seldom used a cookbook. 

 

Several oven timers, custom orders of coffee, and an order for eighteen loafs of bread later, Kihyun's team began wrapping up their humble establishment. First on their list was to flip the small sign on the door from open to closed, signaling anyone who happened past at 10pm that they were done for the day. Next was packing up what they could salvage of the treats and wrapping them, or putting them in boxes to donate to shelters. Though they technically only threw in food that might even be a tiny bit stale, Kihyun liked to make fresh food for them, he thought that just because someone cannot afford it doesn’t mean they shouldn’t get a taste of fresh baked food. 

Each of the staff went through their personal 'closing' checklists, and Kihyun soon okayed them to take off for the night. Rowoon was the last to leave, waving goodbye even after the door closed. Kihyun liked him, and mentally patted himself on the back for such a good hire. Kihyun hummed a random tune, improvising as he swayed and danced through the kitchen, running his eyes over everything making sure that he could actually go home.

 

A dance by himself and then an imaginary duent later, Kihyun was confident that he could close for the night, and went into the back to pull out his belongings, though today they only consisted of his jacket and keys. Shortly after he cut the lights and walked towards the door, looking at the counter from a customer's perspective. 

 

"I wonder what Changkyun thought of it?" Kihyun said out loud, feeling free to talk to himself knowing that he was alone. His chest hurt just the same as before, though Kihyun liked to think it hurt less every time, and he would become used to the pain. Kihyun turned around and locked the door, taking as much time as he wanted to. Kihyun tried to push the pain to the back of his mind along with all of the questions he had, which proved to be very difficult when he felt that it was becoming too difficult to breathe. 

 

Kihyun stopped for a moment, wondering if his original plan of searching his problem on the internet would be time better spent at a hospital, where professionals could assess his situation. Weighing the options and consequences, Kihyun decided a hospital would probably be best, especially considering he was struggling with his lungs and not something like a leg cramp. 

 

Luckily, he had stopped in time, and walked straight to his car in the parking lot, pulling out his keys and unlocking the vehicle. The lights inside turned on and Kihyun took that as a signal to enter. Kihyun lethargically put the keys in their place before turning them and starting his engine. He pulled out of the spot, and drove out of the area. Kihyun managed to find an amazing apartment, he thought as he pulled up to the hospital almost five minutes later. It really was in the middle of everything. 

 

Kihyun didn't take long to park his car, given the late hour. He parked kind of far away, thinking that he should leave the closer spots for people with broken legs or injuries akin to that. The walk still did not take long, which really satisfied Kihyun, he had been taking many quickly paced journeys that day. Automatic doors swung open at his detected presence, allowing him to pass through them and into the ER. He walked up to the front desk and signed in, asking them what to do until a doctor came for him. After being told to sit down and wait, Kihyun shrugged, and found a seat in the corner, away from most other patients in there at the time. 

 

It had been over 20 minutes before Kihyun was called in, frustrating him a bit as his 'quick' streak had been broken. He was called by a nurse and they walked through a long, bright hallway. The nurse seemed nice and tried to make small talk with him, asking how he felt and if he had had an otherwise nice day. Kihyun nodded, thinking mostly about the things he had baked instead of his actual day as a whole, which was not uncommon for him. She lead him to a small room, and asked him to sit on a paper covered padded table, informing him that the doctor would be in to see him soon. When she left, assuring Kihyun she would be nearby if he needed something, he had barely a minute to play with the paper and observe his surroundings before the doctor arrived. 

 

"Hello, I'm Doctor Shin. You're Yoo Kihyun, correct?" Kihyun nodded once more, but also looked the man beside him up and down. He was sporting a light brown hairstyle and round glasses, as well as a pristine coat, descending on his body. The color matched the walls around him, and Kihyun wasn’t sure if that satisfied him or caused the sudden uneasy feeling in his stomach.

 

"So, tell me what has been going on for you." Kihyun looked back at the doctor's face and recalled all that had gone on the past night. Explaining that he had had a weird dream involving voids and a human heart, and then to feeling the pain in his chest every time he thought of the man he had met earlier. Kihyun gave a thorough explanation of all that had happened to him in the past 24 hours for fear that any forgotten detail could lead to a misdiagnosis. The doctor had been taking note of many things in Kihyun’s stories, and once the younger had finished he seemed to take a moment to pull his thoughts together. A few different expressions crossed the doctor’s face, and Kihyun tried to remain calm amidst the suspense. 

 

"Kihyun are you sure you have never met this person before? Is it at all possible that he has caused trauma in your life before?" The doctor wore a serious expression, though Kihyun had been honest in his words before. 

 

"I am positive that I have never seen, nor met him before. I would've remembered him for sure." Seemingly choosing to ignore the last thing said, the doctor turned back to his notes and mulled over them for a minute. Kihyun felt thankful for this, not really wanting to explain how attractive he thought Changkyun was. At least, he didn’t want to explain it to an elder, his friends however, would soon receive an earful. 

 

The doctor’s expression changed and soon after he turned back to Kihyun and gave him his opinion of what had been happening. The doctor was worried that Kihyun would ignore his decision, but he was only able to get a sentence out before he was interrupted by Kihyun's jaw practically hitting the ground. Kihyun took a moment in the new silence to digest the first few words of his diagnosis and realized he could only express his many emotions in a small, constrained whisper. 

 

"Soulmates?"  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TO ALL OF MY READERS I APOLOGIZE PROFUSELY !! IT HAD BEEN OVER A MONTH !!  
> My problem was a lack of inspiration as well as time but hopefully my school break will eliminate one of those problems.   
> Thank you guys so much for your patience and I hope that you enjoy this chapter, as it was a bit different from the others : ))))))  
> Let me know what you think of it with a comment, which much like kudos are verY mUcH appreciated <3  
> Thank you to me beta for reading 98475 times and helping me decide on a title, as well as pushing me to write when i was ornery. Much love to you~
> 
> I hope all of you lovely readers are have a wonderful week, and ill return again!


	5. 당신을 봤는 게 말이 안 돼 [I Can See You But It Doesn't Make Sense]

Jooheon awoke to the sound of pots and pans clanging in the kitchen. Although he was not surprised that Changkyun was up and preparing for his day already, it was unusual that his friend would make this much noise. He pulled the duvet off of his body and immediately missed the warmth. Retrieving a sweatshirt from his bag, Jooheon walked out of the room and towards the noise. 

 

Changkyun was tired, to say the least. As much as he had enjoyed his night, he had concluded that pavement makes for a horrible mattress, and it was also incredibly cold and unwelcoming to innocent tailbones. 

 

After a stressful ride home of trying to keep himself awake, Changkyun had been practically asleep as he walked to his humble abode. He had been delighted to find his friend still sleeping, a tattoo of a silver ribbon poking out from underneath his sleeve. 

 

Closing the door as silently as possible, Changkyun made his way into his own bedroom quickly collapsing on top of his soft bed.  _ This is far better than pavement.  _

 

As he was sliding into the sweet release of sleep on top of an actual mattress, Changkyun remembered that he had no appointments until twelve that afternoon and he delighted in the fact that he could sleep for longer than an hour. 

 

He woke at around 10:30, excited that he would have time to make a nice breakfast with some of the fruit he had bought on his most recent trip to the farmer’s market. Changkyun pulled a sweatshirt over his head and padded into the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face. 

He felt that he had the gift of a flexible routine. He almost always had the same things to do each morning, but depending on the day he could switch up their pace or order and still get to work on time. Some days during the winter he liked to wake up and make hot chocolate while cuddling up in a blanket and reading, hiding from the cold world around him that loomed over each building. Other days he liked to get ready and then have time to watch a show on TV, sometimes he would watch a sappy drama, though none of his friends knew it. He liked the variety, and appreciated it in many aspects of his life. 

 

When he deemed his appearance decent enough to be among his best friend, Changkyun walked from his bathroom and into the kitchen, hosting a small debate about what he should have for breakfast inside of his mind. He knew he wanted the fruit but that meant he wanted to make something savory, but the food also couldn’t take up much time to cook. 

 

Changkyun sat against the counter, fingers tapping out a slow rhythm when he suddenly remembered something that his friend's mom in Boston used to make for them quite often. 

Pulling out a skillet he coated the bottom of it with butter; retrieving two eggs from the fridge and separating the whites from the yolks, setting the yolks aside to use later. He also got a tortilla out and put it in the convection oven to let it soften. He turned the heat for his stove on, and poured the egg whites in, letting them cook but chopping them up into smaller pieces as he would scrambled eggs. Once the tortilla had softened, he put a small bit of butter on the shell, and placed the eggs there as well once they had finished cooking. He wrapped it burrito style and after taking the first bite, questioned why he hadn't made this before. 

 

He set the wrap down, and walked across the kitchen to put the eggs back, but get out the fruit; which consisted of raspberries, blackberries, blueberries, and mango. Using two small dishes he mixed the black and raspberries in one, and mango and blueberries in the other. 

Changkyun ate while he decided what to do with the remaining two yolks, and was in the middle of getting a cutting board out to start an omelet when he saw his friend emerge from the guest bedroom. Jooheon looked like he had had a good night's sleep, but still seemed pretty hazy. 

 

"Mornin' Kyun." Jooheon mumbled. Changkyun hoped that he hadn't noticed anything of his absence the night before, and nodded back. He motioned towards the skillet and asked if the other wanted anything, to which he received a slight grunt. Jooheon motioned towards the coffee maker behind Changkyun, and the younger quickly understood. Although he was slightly concerned that the rapper needed coffee to live at 10:30 in the morning, he knew that he had been working late recently, trying to finish his new mixtape which had a working title of 'satanic ritual'. Jooheon had chosen that name to represent the fact that it will be 'too much fire to handle at one time'. 

 

They ate in near silence, the only noise coming from scratching on plates or an occasional comment like, "pass the berries". It had been about thirty minutes into their meal when Jooheon screamed bloody murder and caused Changkyun to nearly choke on his egg. 

 

"Hyung, what the hell?!" Changkyun shouted after collecting himself. 

 

Jooheon, who had fallen out of his chair, spoke from his sprawled position on the ground, his phone crashing beside him. "Minhyuk hyung sent me a video with a ghost." Upon hearing the word 'ghost' a shiver ran down Changkyun’s spine. 

 

"But I'm okay now. I just have to remember what you told me 'ghosts don't exist'." Changkyun half-smiled in response, feeling an awful lot like a hypocrite. 

 

-

Air was easily mixed around on the inside of a hospital. Each brisk walk from one room to the next created a sort of whirlwind, pulling each person into it’s own chaos. Changkyun took long strides from the hospital cafe to his office, needing the short break. His last patient, a woman in her late twenties, had spoken of seeing ghosts in her house. She had a referral from her landlady, saying that no one on the property believes her, and that he should ‘surely find something to diagnose her with.’ 

 

Although he strongly disliked the landlady for using terms such as those, Changkyun did some further examining, and the woman exhibited several other symptoms for schizophrenia; the ghost falling into the category of hallucination. Though he had been able to diagnose it rather easily, as her symptoms had been clearly cut for it; Changkyun thought further into seeing ghosts. All his life, he had been convinced that people, once dead, were never to be seen again. But the events of the past few days have had him on edge, forcing him to question both the natural and supernatural. 

 

With three more steps and a right turn around a corner, Changkyun soon arrived at his office door, pulling the heavy wood object open and afterwards nearly jumping out of his own skin. 

In his very own office chair sat the ghost. The ghost he had seen; the ghost he had had lingering in his mind the entire day. 

 

“Oh hello Changkyun, how are you this morning?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if there ever were a filler chapter this is the one  
> i'm still writing i promise,,, just wanted to post this for y'all to let you know i haven't forgotten : )))  
> thank you to me beta for reading this mess and thank you to everyone who spends their precious time reading my writing; much love to you all!


	6. 너의 눈빛 [The Light in Your Eyes]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heres the playlist for the fic on youtube : )))))  
> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrSXDo8V1_lKjKY1B8D4Bgj0rxISNM_o1

Changkyun was too dumbfounded to respond. Looking as ethereal as ever, a large smile had graced Kihyun's features when he saw Changkyun open the door. The former had decided to go out into the world for a bit. The bus had been getting boring, even more so now that someone had actually interacted with him. He thought to pay the man a visit. The look on Changkyun's face told Kihyun that this was the last thing he was expecting today, and Kihyun wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. 

After a few moments of silence, Changkyun, who realized he was staring at nothing but Kihyun's smile, decided to speak up. Speaking a bit louder than he'd intended Changkyun found himself saying, "How did you find me?" He winced, not wanting the other to get the wrong idea. Luckily Changkyun watched as Kihyun's smile turned into a playful smirk. 

"Why? Were you hiding from me?" Kihyun, who had remained in his place on Changkyun’s chair crossed his right leg over his left and leaned back into it. Changkyun watched this movement like a hawk, finding it oddly attractive that Kihyun looked like he belonged in Changkyun's chair. Changkyun shook his head to rid the thought.  _ You are not thinking about a ghost being attractive.  _

"N-no I ju-just wan-" Kihyun cut him off with a single melodic laugh. 

"If you're wondering how I found your office, it wasn't that difficult. I just looked at the directory in the lobby and found your name with a room number." Kihyun shrugged. "You better hope some other ghost doesn't decide to haunt you because they could just look you up. Then bam! Possessed." He laughed again and it took all of Changkyun's willpower to not melt at the sound. 

"Why did you want to see me?" Changkyun asked, after collecting himself enough so as to disguise that  _ damn _ stutter. Kihyun rested his elbow on the arm of the chair and flicked his wrist out to the side as a casual gesture. 

"You try living on a bus for two years with nothing better to do. I finally met someone who can see me, so naturally I go to find them." Kihyun said matter-of-factly and decided to leave out the part where he admits that he missed Changkyun's company as well. Changkyun simply nodded in response before walking closer to the chair. Kihyun's eyes followed him every step of the way, though he remained in the same position. Changkyun leaned on the side of his desk and crossed his arms, still partially confused as to why Kihyun wanted to be there. 

"Well I'm a psychologist, and we don't really allow anyone else in the room with us, so I'm not sure why you thought this would be more entertaining"  _ though I really don't mind seeing you _ , Changkyun added. Kihyun laughed brightly and Changkyun realized that he had, once again, spoken his inner monologue aloud. 

"Well I'm glad we are on the same page then... I was kind of hoping that I could catch you at your lunch break." Kihyun started his sentence loudly, but seemed to become more shy towards the end of it, his voice declining to a slight whisper. Changkyun heard the words loud and clear though, and upon looking at his desk calendar responded with, "You're in luck, I happen to have a rather long break today." 

 

Kihyun smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling in the cutest way. Changkyun took off his lab coat and placed it on the chair, opting for a less hospital-doctor like look. 

Kihyun stood up from the chair, quickly walking over to Changkyun like a puppy to it's owner. Changkyun looked at his companion for a second before pushing the door open with a quick, "Let's go."

 

-

The spring sun beats down on them as if it were a stage light, sweat glistening on foreheads of those who walked under it. The pair walk along the sidewalk, the heart of the city not far from the hospital. Changkyun liked to walk down to the area when he had enough time, admiring all of the restaurants, as well as people watching, observing them and brushing up on his fluency in body language. He liked to watch specific situations as they unfolded, his favorites being dates, following the feelings of one as their companion orders something expensive, and then the other when they chew with their mouth open. 

Kihyun walked close to Changkyun, partly because some other person would most likely walk through him if he walked directly to the side (which wasn’t the most pleasant of feelings), and partly because he had never walked this way downtown before. Kihyun was enticed by the thought that he would get to discover new things with Changkyun. The pair turned left at the corner of the street, and suddenly it was like they had walked into a wonderland. 

The scent of food was abundant, the aroma of cooked meats and spices making their way around the square. Above them, little lights were strung across the buildings in a mock ceiling, creating a warm ambiance. All of the buildings sporting glass storefronts, making it easy to look inside and admire the decoration and theme of each place. Kihyun felt delight well up in his stomach and he grabbed Changkyun's hand, pulling the other forward to look at all of the different places. He set off in a short, but quick run and Changkyun felt his arm be yanked forward. Changkyun looked at Kihyun's eyes once he had caught up, loving the way they lit up at each new sight. 

Changkyun watched as Kihyun discovered the fountains in the center of the square, his entire face lighting up like a child’s. Kihyun had stopped running once he’d seen the water, and they came to a stop in front of them, just watching. The pair watched as the fountains danced; Changkyun knew they moved in such a way because of a computer program to please those walking past, but in that moment it seemed as if they were dancing for Kihyun, and Kihyun only. He watched as the latter's eyes followed every movement, every twist and every turn, and yet Changkyun somehow wasn't surprised to see Kihyun move his body in time with them. 

 

Music came on, playing over the speakers in the square and adding to the already enchanting atmosphere. The music had a smooth feel to it, instruments filling the otherwise empty space. The lines and notes wrapping themselves around the two, filling their ears with music and their souls with the feeling of something beyond a perfect fit. Kihyun took that as his cue to make larger movements, drawing Changkyun in with him. The pair began to move along with the rhythm, dancing slowly yet with decided movements, like they had always been meant to move in a perfect sync. The music continued on, following them. 

Around the square, in tables nearby, foreign eyes began to focus on the man dancing a duet by himself. His movements were slightly awkward but they seemed to be a harmony to the song's melody. He was clearly leaving a space for a partner; the space between himself and his hands on invisible shoulders too far from himself, and too consistent as he moved. Each pair of eyes was left to silently wonder if the man really did have a partner, or if he was simply his own.  

 

Changkyun could've continued dancing for as long as he lived, and something in the way Kihyun was moving along with him told him the feeling was mutual. It was only when the songs had switched and Changkyun caught a glimpse of his watch, that he realized they should eat in order to arrive back to his shift on time. He didn't have to say anything for Kihyun to slow down the movements, parting slightly once they had stopped. Still staring into each other's eyes, Changkyun was the first to speak up, slightly winded. "We should probably get some food" Kihyun smiled, also slightly out of breath. 

"I agree, and before you ask, yes, I can eat human food."

The pair walked into a simple Korean restaurant, Kihyun mentioning that he wanted to have the taste of bibimbap on his tongue again. For the first time since they had entered the square, Changkyun pulled his eyes away from Kihyun for longer than a few seconds. He looked around for a waitress, soon finding one walking up to the front. 

"Welcome! How many?" Just as Changkyun was about to answer ‘two’, Kihyun nudged him and told him to say one. 

"Just one." The waitress nodded and retrieved one menu for the man, then walked him to the table, Kihyun following close behind. She motioned for Changkyun to sit with a small polite smile, and set out his menu and utensils. Changkyun slid into the small wooden booth, and Kihyun copied the motion. Since he had said he was alone, the booth was rather small, though he didn't quite mind being close to Kihyun. 

As he looked at the menu trying to choose between so many options, Kihyun watched Changkyun's expressions. He hoped the fact that he'd told Changkyun to get a table for one wasn't on his companion's mind. He wasn't keen on reminding Changkyun that no one other than the male could see him. The last thing Kihyun would want to do is pull Changkyun out of the beautiful affect this place had on the both of them, living in their own little world. Kihyun had seen the expressions on the other humans faces when they had danced together. Although Kihyun didn't mind himself, he didn't want Changkyun to lose his position at the hospital because he could see something no other person could. 

Changkyun suddenly looked up, catching Kihyun in the act. "What?" he mumbled, surprised to meet such an intense gaze. 

"Oh nothing, I was just thinking about psychology." Kihyun figured that a tiny bit of the truth would have to suffice and hoped that Changkyun wouldn't see through the lie. 

"What about it?" Changkyun's attention was off of the menu now, and Kihyun was glad his bit of truth had worked. 

"It's a cool job. I used to enjoy trying to read people's body language." Kihyun actually didn't mind the direction of this conversation, keen on getting to know Changkyun better. The mention of body language sparked Changkyuns interest, 

"What did you do for a living?" Changkyun asked, curious as to how the occupation fit in with being around people. 

"I was a baker." Kihyun smiled. "I used to be able to read someone when they walked into my shop and then know exactly what to recommend them based on their mood." 

Changkyun was utterly fascinated by Kihyun to say the least. Their conversation only broke once or twice when the waitress came to take the order, and then deliver their food. Through it he learned that Kihyun was a fantastic baker, having opened his own shop and earned a solid living. He also learned that Kihyun had every recipe he used to use memorized, making many baked goods through his muscle memory. When Changkyun mentioned cooking as a hobby of his own, the conversation changed its direction slightly, revealing that Kihyun loves to sing, as well as take pictures of things. Changkyun asks in passing if Kihyun was talented enough to make him look nice on film, Kihyun replying that even the worst photographer could take a picture in which he looked nice. 

They talked all through their lunch, never stepping out of their own little world, and ignoring the curious looks any time Changkyun would laugh particularly loud. Kihyun had made sure to place the boy's phone near his plate, hoping that anyone who noticed would see his phone and assume he was laughing because of it. 

Both filled to the brim with delicious food, Changkyun paid the bill and they both stood up from the booth. Kihyun feigned being pregnant, saying that he felt like he would somehow manage to give birth to a food baby. Changkyun laughed rather loudly at the remark, and if he noticed the stares he received afterwards, he didn't show it. The pair made their way out of the restaurant, Changkyun noticing that they were good on time. Changkyun remembered Kihyun's expression when he saw him spot the gelato shop and debated going there; but after hearing a groan about being so full from beside him, he decided he'd take Kihyun there another time. 

They walked on the brick road, Kihyun appreciating the tops of the buildings and the overall rustic aesthetic of the square. The seats were painted black and the lights above them gold with black wire, depicting a sort of scene from a movie. Changkyun was looking around him at all of the small bushes with hunter green leaves when he sensed his companion stop in his tracks. 

"Oh my God." 

Alarms went off in Changkyun's head when he heard the tone Kihyun used. He looked to Kihyun and upon following his gaze found the black outline of a human. At the top of one of the buildings. On the edge. 

About to jump. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :))))))  
> man that was quick.   
> Thank you guys so much for reading, I really am amazed that you do!  
> Also thank you to my beta who I surely annoyed to no end <3


	7. 천천히, 영원히 [Slowly, Forever]

The sun had just set when Changkyun walked out of the automatic glass doors, opening to him and closing behind Kihyun. The psychiatrist had worked all day long and he was truly excited to get back to his apartment. Watching as Kihyun followed him to his car, Changkyun began to think about the boy. He wondered where he’d learned to handle himself so well in high stress situations, knowing full well that most people could not have been able to do what Kihyun had done previously that day. A chill went down his spine as Kihyun caught Changkyun’s eye, their gazes held only for a moment before the latter pulled out his keys and unlocked his car. Through the gaze a mutual feeling of exhaustion had been understood, and as they both stepped into Changkyun’s car, the man spoke. 

“I don’t mind you coming with me at all, but there’s no chance I’m making food.” A small smile graced the ghost’s slightly bluish lips and his eyes retreated into half-moons, clearly pleased with the situation. After stealing another glance at the boy in the passenger’s seat, Changkyun pulled the emergency break and set the car in motion, leaving their day behind them. 

Kihyun’s eyes flitted from building to building, finding that he could recognize most of their passing silhouettes if he reached into the deepest corners of his mind. There were lights illuminating the dark pavement, giving the asphalt a falsified warmth. As he looked on, Kihyun could remember how the light pollution used to bleed into the sky from his bedroom window. His parents had lived on the less populated side of the region, allowing him a full view of the city and the suburbs around it. He used to be in awe of all those who found it in themselves to stay at work overtime, finishing up a day’s worth of tasks for longer than they’re worth. Office buildings had long windows, artificial lights reaching past the glass and fading into the sky, giving it color that the atmosphere around it hadn’t. There were red and green lights scattered among the tops of high rises, warning planes and helicopters of their location. 

Kihyun frowned unconsciously when he was reminded of the events closer to high noon. In school he’d had a few experiences with suicidal people and victims, though no sort of preparation could desensitize him. After he and Changkyun had been having more fun than he’d thought imaginable, seeing the girl’s face and seeing her where no human life should belong, struck his heart. A split second decision led him to use his sole ghostly power and apparate up to the roof, knowing that Changkyun wouldn’t be able to reach her in what could be a very small time frame.

Kihyun possesed a knowledge that no one else could of the dead and the world after being human; he hoped desperately that the girl wouldn’t have to find anything out. He also hoped she would be able to see him as he landed on the roof only a few strides behind her. Calling out to her, he made himself known. He wasn’t sure what to do at all, or if what he was doing could be considered correct, but he knew he had to try, or at least he could stall until Changkyun arrived and took control of the situation. With two more steps forward, Kihyun looked up to a surprised young face, being framed with long black hair and eyes that screamed, “this is my only choice.” Those same eyes immediately locked with Kihyun’s and held his stare, giving the ghost enough reason to believe the girl could see him. He did what he thought would be best. 

_“ Please step down from there,” Kihyun pleaded, hoping to convey both concern and care in his quiet voice. The girl opened her mouth to respond but closed it just the same, her right foot sliding even further towards the edge. The air was whipping her hair and had a bite to it that worried Kihyun even more. He wanted Changkyun to get there quickly. To help both of them. Kihyun tried something with a bit of a different approach.  
_

_“Can you see me?” The girl simply nodded in response.  
_

_“What do I look like?” Kihyun asked cautiously, the girl seemed mentally exhausted and he wanted to calm her down. Luckily his question this time received a response.  
_

_“Pale. Blue. You’re glowing a bit.” Her voice reached his ears and it had a slight rasp to it, she’d been on the verge of crying.  
_

_“I’m a ghost.” No reaction._  
“Being a ghost really sucks.” Kihyun tried, sighing dramatically. Still no response. “I get really weird looks when I walk around with other people, and I’m always cold.” An unexpected curt laugh sounded from the girl’s mouth.   


_“That doesn’t sound any different from me,” she said, her voice dropping into a lower octave and both her feet pointing towards him, closer to the roof and further from the edge.  
_

_“I’m not sure I can ever remember feeling this cold as a human, and this time there’s nothing that can warm me up.” The girl’s eyes flickered from his to the door behind him and then to the ground, her arms rising to hold herself. It was then that he realized she was wearing the uniform from a school close to his old home, the rivalry of his own alma mater.  
_

_“How did you get here all the way from your school?” he asked, hoping desperately that his question wouldn’t be a trigger point.  
_

_“Took a bus, didn’t want anyone to see what I was about to do. Kids at school would just laugh and take videos anyway.” Her eyes stayed glued to the ground, her feet stepping closer to the edge subconsciously as she began to curl in on herself. At the same time, Kihyun heard a door open behind him and he watched as only Changkyun stepped out, and he was thankful that the doctor knew not to bombard her with people. His eyes flew quickly to her, checking for any sign that a new presence wouldn’t push her. He saw her eyes flit up to Changkyun, and wanting to stop what could ensue he called out,  
_

_“Are you cold now?” Her eyes trailed back to his and she nodded ever so slightly, it was then that Kihyun knew she didn’t want this, but she felt it was a last resort.  
_

_“The person behind me is a very good person, and he’s got a jacket you can wear, but it will be warmer if you’re down here with me. There’s less wind.”_

_Although he wasn’t sure how, nor why, this allowed her to get down off of the edge and he and Changkyun walked closer to help her down, the latter handing the girl his jacket and Kihyun took note of how frail she seemed. Her hair was still whipping in the wind, and Kihyun saw the slightest appearance of a dimple, which allowed him to hope that she might be feeling just a little bit warmer._

Kihyun’s mind had just begun thinking of the comforting words Changkyun whispered to the girl when a warm hand enveloped his, and upon moving his head from resting on the window, he saw that the owner of that hand was still focused on the road, the hand in his drawing little calming circles. Kihyun had kept his eyes on Changkyun for a little while longer when he noticed a warmth that he hadn’t felt in all of his years as a ghost, and even slightly beyond how he felt as a human. It was centered in his hand but his arm felt as though tiny tendrils of heat were licking up his arm and into his shoulders. At that moment Changkyun looked over and through the moonlight was able to see Kihyun’s face turn red at the apples of his cheeks. 

“Kihyun, are you blushing?” the man said, a slight laugh in his voice. Kihyun remembered the term and knew full well the connotations of it, but he was too focused on the warmth returning slowly to every inch of his body that he just kept his eyes on Changkyun and traced every line of his face until he felt he could draw it. Quickly Changkyun’s eyes were back on the road, but his hand stayed in the same place, interlocked with Kihyun’s thin fingers and drawing aimless patterns across his knuckles. They stayed like that for the rest of the drive back to the doctor’s apartment, an added light dusting of pink on his cheeks.

The return to Changkyun’s apartment brought amazement to Kihyun’s face as he took in his surroundings, and reminded Changkyun to call a Chinese restaurant nearby for delivery. The pair were still holding hands, Kihyun refusing to lose his newfound warmth, and Changkyun feeling like somehow this was the most comfortable thing he’d ever felt. They walked through the entrance hall of the building and Kihyun was practically skipping to the elevator, delight painted across his face with every new decoration his vision soaked in. Changkyun had to practically run to keep up with him, and when they reached the elevators he pulled Kihyun next to him, catching his breath. The ghost looked down at his companion, smiling for a brief moment at their hands which were still laced together. Changkyun let out a breathy laugh and pressed the ‘up’ button for the elevator, knowing that stairs would wreak havoc on his lungs at that moment. The elevator quickly arrived and the pair stepped in, both equally as excited to get home. 

Once they’d arrived on Changkyun’s floor and walked the necessary distance, Changkyun unwillingly released Kihyun’s hand from his grip to open his door. He did so quickly, and the entranceway was on full display for Kihyun to explore. It had been second nature as Koreans to take off their shoes immediately upon entering the house, and Kihyun was standing in the mudroom, trying desperately to take off his shoes. Toeing the back of his heels to take off his sneakers, he nearly lost balance and fell into Changkyun, consequently allowing the warmth to spread through Kihyun’s body once more, and somehow allowing him to take off his shoes. Though they were both confused as to how a ghost could possibly change something about their appearance in that way, the ghost himself was too excited to care and re-laced their fingers, pulling Changkyun forward into his own home. 

The psychiatrist walked along Kihyun’s side this time and left only for a moment to place his bag in his office, the extra papers from today sitting atop a small filing cabinet. Returning quickly, he lead the other into his living room and sat down on the couch, Kihyun choosing a spot next to him. 

“We’ve got time before the food gets here, what do you want to do?” Changkyun asked, his eyes watching Kihyun closely. 

“I haven’t, uh, I haven’t seen a movie in a really long time and, em, I see one of my favorites sitting over there. Could we watch it?” The boy’s face was slightly red again, as if suggesting a movie were the same as suggesting they play spin the bottle at their first middle school party. Changkyun laughed, reaching out when the boy flinched from the laughter, clearly embarrassed. 

“Of course. Which movie?” Changkyun got off of the couch and walked over to the television, opening his glass cabinet filled with DVDs. Kihyun fell slowly onto the ground and crawled over to the other, sitting on his knees and resting his chin on Changkyun’s shoulder as he pointed to the movie and watched the boy take the disc out of its case. When they were touching, Kihyun noticed he could feel the texture of the carpet against his skin, and the plush padding underneath it which seemingly took the pressure off of his knees. Changkyun had to move to put the disc in, though it was a one-handed job so their fingers once again found each other’s. 

The two boys moved back onto the couch and sat next to each other, the movie beginning and the opening credits making their way onto the screen, Kihyun’s memory exuberant at the trigger music for happy memories from his life. It seemed so easy to get off track and to reminisce on the old days, but Kihyun fought the urge to submit to his mind, instead wanting to focus on what was happening in that room with Changkyun by his side. Kihyun noticed the distance between them and wondered how Changkyun felt about it; if it was just a formality that one of them would break soon enough, or if he really wanted the space to be there. The pair of hands set in the middle of the space led him to believe the former, and he focused on the movie once more, the montage of Chim Chim Cher-ee and A Spoonful of Sugar falling with grace over his ears. 

It was not until Kihyun had been smiling at the cartoon penguins and their dancing skills in the imaginary land that the kids and Mary and Bert jump into that Kihyun noticed he was now leaning against the man next to him. Their shoulders were flush and Changkyun was leaning into Kihyun’s ever so slightly, but enough to let him feel the weight of the boy. Kihyun let out a contented sigh and moved to lean his head on the other boy’s shoulder when they both heard a sharp ring come from the door, causing Changkyun to jump and knocking them both out of their stupor. Changkyun apologized for knocking Kihyun on the head with his shoulder and hopped off of the couch with a bright red face to grab his wallet and retrieve their dinner. 

Listening to the older man make polite conversation with the delivery person at the door, Kihyun was left to wonder how this had all happened so fast. He knew what he saw the first time he’d met Changkyun after a little while, but they had become so close so fast. Perhaps it was facing the possibility of death between them, or the fact that Kihyun had so quickly become addicted to the other boy’s warmth. To say that Changkyun made him feel like a human again could almost be an understatement, as the warmth Kihyun felt around him was like no other as it licked through his limbs and touched organs that hadn’t worked in so many years. It was exceedingly odd, but there was nothing that he didn’t like about it, maybe he also happened to be naturally clingy, both were plausible.

The sound of the door shutting carried over into the next room, and Changkyun soon appeared carrying food for both of them. Carefully he wove in between the tables and couches, bringing both bags with him. Almost on instinct, Kihyun stood up to retreive utensils and napkins for them and walked towards the kitchen. Walking into the smaller room, he took in all of the appliances and the cabinets, drawers above most. He took his time looking around, but then realized he had no idea where everything was kept, though he felt too proud to walk back into the living room and ask. The ghost stayed there and looked around, finding nearly anything he could want except for utensils. He’d been searching through another drawer filled with beautiful baking utensils when he felt two arms wrap around his torso, and the warmth was back and felt with more force than ever before. Kihyun’s face lit up with a smile even as Changkyun teased him for obviously not knowing where things were, but still refusing to go and ask for help. The ghost placed both of his hands over those wrapped around his middle and they stayed like that for a moment before they waddled over to the proper drawer, and Changkyun let his companion pick up two spoons and two pairs of chopsticks. Laughing loudly, the pair waddled over into the living room, left feet taking a step together and then the right, before falling onto the couch, regaining their bearings, and then setting up their food to begin eating. 

Unpausing the movie, the pair ate side by side with their food sitting on the coffee table. Occasionally their elbows would bump each other, and sometimes one of them would lean against the other. All in all it was a very domestic affair, and neither of them would have it a different way. The dinner was ended when they both had only finished about a half of the food they’d gotten, and Changkyun sat back on the couch, Kihyun being bold and lying his head in the boys lap. It took them both a bit to get comfortable again, but neither objected. Finally in a good position they both focused on the movie just in time to watch the chimney sweeps begin dancing across rooftops against the backdrop of a starry sky. 

Kihyun thought of the music he used to listen to and found himself humming to the tune, his head quickly becoming clouded with visions of stars and space, and lying with someone he loved watching dusk become dawn. It was in that moment that Changkyun had begun carding his fingers through Kihyun’s hair, slowly and gently massaging his head and relaxing him at an inhumane pace.   
It was in the few seconds before he fell asleep that Kihyun decided he would stick with Changkyun. He would stick with Changkyun until the very end because he saw himself lying next to him, watching the stars and holding him close. He would stick with Changkyun because even though they’d met not long ago, he reminded him of the light bleeding preciously into the black of night, and the warm breeze on the clear day, the red umbrella that moves among gray clouds when it’s raining, and the ice that danced before your eyes in the winter, translucent but somehow still vibrant with color. Changkyun defined the word light, and Kihyun wanted to stick with that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re back in action.  
> I’m sosososososo sorry this took so long,  
> And thank you so much to those who stick with it.   
> Thank you to my beta as always for putting up with me~   
> So much love to you all~

**Author's Note:**

> Hi y'all it's me again : )  
> I got this inspiration real late yesterday and i've been doing nothing but writing since. This is going to be another chaptered fic to I can have more stress um...... ANYWAY I'm really excited for this cause I highkey love ghost AUs and they are so scarce. So thank you to everyone who drops by and reads this, and maybe even leaves comments and kudos.  
> 


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